LittleMissYou: February 2010

Dreams

So tonight as every other night, i was sitting at my computer checking my usual sites, twitter, fb, homail, blog and msn, when i read an email from my mum, telling me to read this chicks blog...

so i click the link and start reading it (as you do) wowzers it was intense, straight away i was like wtf why is mum making me read this deep arse some what troubled ladies blog!!

So mum tells me too keep reading because i'll find something i can relate too...

then i found the blog about her dreams...

I read about how she wanted to be an actress and even got into NYU!! but unfortunately a boy and drugs got in her way and she gave up...

That post of hers really got to me...

It breaks my heart that its so easy to let go of your dreams then live off regret and what if's...

I don't EVER want to do that to myself...

I think we all need to man the fuck up when it comes to living our dreams.

God didn';t give us drive,passion and the dreams we dream to sit there on our asses and WISH for something to happen...

Sure, good thing do come to some who wait, but when its your mother fucking dreams, there is no waiting.,.. you either go out there and fucking chase em, or you live the rest of your life in the "i settled" category, and honestly who wants to live there... all that place does is harvest animosity and you guessed it... regret... and what if's.

so here is a little section of this girls post that i liked, you should check out the rest of your blog also, you never know you might find something that relates to you and your life ;)

SO TAKE IT FROM ME...don't ever, ever, EVER give up on your dream, no matter how impossible it may at first seem or how many times your dad tells you it's a waste of time. tell your dad to piss off and you just keep on truckin'. that's what makes the great dream so sweet; the challenge of the journey really is the destination. so ignore your doubts and the haters that implanted them. do your thing no matter what. because when you give up on your dream, you give up on yourself and when you give up on yourself...
...you're already dead. "

- http://blogs.myspace.com/insanepugsfromhell

Check her out its pretty good.

And i agree 100% never give up on your dreams... They were bestowed on your for a reason, and even if no one else in the world believes in you, believe in yourself and show the world you made it!!

xox Bek :)

Old poems/songs i found.

Posted by Bek_Waters comments (3)

In case you haven't realized already, i like to right poems and songs, its a great way for me to get the thoughts of out my head and to use then in an constructive way.

So hear are some of my lil poems and things I've written over the years..

They come off a bit depressing but theres good messages behind em....

Life’s Lessons

Created 15/5/08

My past is this everlasting pit of doubt

I keep trying but I can’t seem to pull myself out

The darkness is slowly taking my life away

And I’m finding it harder to hold on each day

The clock is slowly ticking

One two three

And as the seconds go by

A little more of myself fades away

And rolling along comes another day

I try to look up but the vast pit thickens

I keep trying to call out but I lose all sense of direction

What has life taught me but endless rejection?

And as I look into the future

I see another subjection to my past

And I don’t think I could cope

Cuz that pit is so vast

The clock is slowly ticking

One two three

Should I just sit here and wonder

Or escape and be free?

I’m so sick of life’s lessons

Being thrown at me

I wish I could choose life’s lessons

Least that way I’d be happy.

I know what doesn’t kill you

Only makes you stronger

But I don’t think I can deal

With this heartache much longer

The pain is getting too much to bare

And my soul is giving up

It takes too much to care

I’m saying all this now

Because before I couldn’t share with you

All the secrets that

My body and soul wanted too

I guess life’s lessons are funny that way

You hate them so much for happening

But you learn so much along the way

Written by Rebekka Waters.

Letter to Myself

Created: 5/5/08

It’s so consuming

It takes up all your time

It controls the way you think

Until you mess up your whole mind

It stays with you forever

And it won’t ever let you go

No matter how much you try and block it

The pain still always shows

You can say it isn’t happening

And you can say it isn’t true

You can say it’s not depression

But you’re only fooling you

You can ask why is this happening?

You can ask why is it always me?

But your not helping yourself Bek;

For when your blind you cannot see

You can ask for the easy option

You could even chicken out

But you’ve got to grow up sometime

Be an adult now;

Try to figure things out

I know that life is hard at times

And I wish that wasn’t true

But you’ve got to do things for yourself somehow

Remember I believe in you.

Written by Rebekka Waters

Blissfully Dreaming

Created 23/11/08

We haven’t seen each other,

I know it’s been awhile.

I still think about you sometimes

The way you used to make me smile.

But as the days go on,

I know it was never meant to be.

But I can’t stop myself from thinking,

You should be sitting next to me.

Chorus: Tell me do you think of me?

Was it ever real?

Tell me, was your heart broken too

or could it never feel?

I thought you loved me

But I kept living in denial

Those nights I thought you did love me,

Helped me sleep for awhile.

And as were getting older

and the years go racing by

I still see you in my dreams

Your like my sweet soft lullaby.

Chorus: Tell me do you think of me?

Was it ever real?

Tell me, was your heart broken too

or could it never feel?

I just want to see you

One last time,

Make it different from the last.

I’d like you to look into my eyes

And say I wasn’t dreaming.

I want this to be real

So please just don’t be leaving.

Don’t be leaving…

Why are you leaving???

Chorus2: do you think of me?

Was it ever real?

Was your heart broken too?

Or could it never feel?

I feel the warm sun brush my face

My eyes flicker, I’m awake

I was blissfully dreaming

But for that moment you were there.

So tonight ill look for you

In my dreams I hope we meet.

Then time can stand still

And we can be near again.

Yes near again,

Make us near again…

Written by Rebekka waters.

The Butterfly

Created 27.1.10

Once i was a butterfly

souring through the sky.

once i was a butterfly

flying oh so high.

Over mighty tree tops

under vines and leaves

I spread my wings

and off i went

catching all my dreams.

Written by Rebekka Waters.

so there are some of my poems...

They all have there different meanings and were all written at different times about different shit. blah blah blah, if you like em let me know, if you hate em, well i'm sure you'll let me know lol.

Valentines day

Posted by Bek_Waters comments (3)

That word alone is almost a swear word in my vocabulary!

So as another February shifts into gear, and all the corny 'heartfelt' bears start popping up in supermarkets everywhere i have come to the conclusion that the only thing i will be married to is my career. (when ever i stop looking after kids and start doing the job i want)

Or i'll be the lady who lives down the road from you with the 40 dogs and you can smell the urine from the house a mile away...

Pretty sexy image i know!!

Yeah so i'm so over the whole 'love' scene, pffftt love, from what i can see, love causes complications that neither one in the relationship wants to deal with, love leads to loss.,.

ohhhh im such a party pooper! lol

The day i fall in love (and not just the unrequited type) is the day i am completely dumbfounded! (i'm sure half of Australia, and America will be also!)

Some wankers assume i'm gay because i don't have some guy as a nice little accessory to my arm!

YO, i'm not gay you twats! i just don't see the point to mindless shit that gets you hurt!

But yeah if love decides to find me then so be it, but i'm not running after it anymore, thats the easiest way to get burned!

My 21st birthday is exactly 7 days after V day, so this year (as some would say) my Champagne birthday :) my 21st on the 21st!!

I'm not doing anything too special for it, having a few au pair mates around to get laugh and get drunk with, apart from that its just another year, and just a little bit older, and lets hope wiser!

My mum is doing a really sweet thing for my birthday this year! she is giving my 21 gifts for the countdown to my birthday!

Some are being sent to me in a parcel, others i have to go searching for across the internet!

Its an awesome idea, one i def be using for a friend in the future!!

Posted by Bek_Waters comments (4)

my mood tonight as i write this blog that no one except my mum reads is gloomy...

I am nearly 5 months into my living an America/ au pair adventure and i find myself becoming restless...

I love living here, but these last couple of weeks the miserable weather and the same old routine of everyday life has gotten me bored and as some would say 'out of step'.

Anyone who knows me, knows i am the type of girl who must always be doing something interesting, or seeing something new!

I like my brain to always be ticking and i love for life to always be exciting (i suppose everyone does) but reality states that just isn't reality!

So on nights like this i find myself wallowing in my own self pity (which is rather pathetic and quite frankly annoying!!)

About 2 nearly 3 weeks ago i enrolled at a community college to do a video/production course, but haven't heard anything back from them as yet.

I figure i need to get the most out of this year and me studying and acquiring skills in the business i dream of working in seems like the smart thing to do.

As mum would say "every step you take is a step towards your dream"

Yep my dream, the one i think about constantly, the one i write about, the one that i never shut up about!!

To be perfectly honest with you i don't actually know whether i have any real talent for acting, but it's what my heart chose for me and i am sticking with it!!

Passion is one of the best things a person can have for a job, and i have a whole lot of that shit!! hehe

This year has been good so far... nearly 5 months.... wow... doesn't feel like that long! but i miss my family like a crazy woman misses her cats!

I'm planning on taking a trip to Canada in the near future, go to Toronto! but i think i will wait for the temp to rise!!

This bloody aussie doesn't like minus 10 crap!!(Celsius) (and thats just where i live!! in Canada its even colder!!)

I have been writing alot of poems and lil songs since my aunty gave me a nice lil' journal for xmas!! I wish i had brought my folder of all that stuff from Australia!

I feel kinda naked without it!!

My German au pair friends have been teaching me a little german!! so watch out!!

Until next time stay safe! Have fun and follow your mf dreams!! xoxo Bek

LittleMissYou

Dreams

Old poems/songs i found.

Valentines day

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